BREAKING: Lovie Smith Listens To Smooth Jazz On Game Headset

Conceding that offensive play-calling is not his favorite part of the game and can be stressful at times, Chicago Bears head coach Lovie Smith admitted Tuesday that he usually listens to Kenny G on his headset when his team has the ball, and that he has “maybe nodded off a few times.”

“Kenny G is vastly underrated, not only for his musicianship but also for his gift for melody,” said Smith, adding that the music helps put him in the right frame of mind for dealing with a game that is violent and chaotic.

“I’m way better at coaching defense than offense,” the coach added, “but Kenny helps keep my mind balanced so that I can figure out how to get the most of out my players. Listening to all that jibber-jabber from assistant coaches on the headset can be a real distraction. I need to feel the ebb and flow of the game, the yin and yang. It’s an art really, and the saxophone stylings of K.G. help me keep in touch with that.”

Offensive coordinator Mike Tice said it was his suggestion that Smith try music on his headset. “Coach Smith gets upset when things get complicated on offense, and we need to keep him calm,” Tice said. “We need that steady hand on the till, even if the ship ain’t moving. I think the results are evident.”

Kenneth “Kenny G” Bruce Gorelick could not be reached for comment.

*Fake.

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