BREAKING: Sammy Sosa Says Steroid Users Should Have HOF Vote

ChicagoSide_Breaking_News_asteriskSammy Sosa, the former Cubs slugger, criticized baseball writers for failing to elect any new members to the Hall of Fame on Wednesday, saying the writers were unqualified to vote because most of them had never used steroids.

“If those writers had ever taken the massive doses of drugs I’d taken,” Sosa said in an interview from his home in the Dominican Republic, “they’d know how hard it was. I mean, just putting on the uniform with biceps the size of watermelons was not easy, man. For a whole decade I couldn’t scratch my own ass. I had to completely relearn how to run, hit, throw, wipe, you name it. The fact I hit whatever it was—800 home runs or something—that’s the greatest achievement in the history of baseball except for maybe the 900 or whatever it was that Bonds hit. No way Babe Ruth couldn’t have done that if he had pecs the size of a rhinoceros’s ass like I did.”

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Sosa said he wasn’t upset about being left out of the Hall of Fame. “I got paid, right? What else is there?” he said. But he noted that he felt compelled to speak because he wanted baseball fans to appreciate the injustice of the vote.

“Those writers, see, they got no idea,” he said. “Most of those guys didn’t take care of themselves. You ever seen Tom Verducci in short sleeves, man? He’s built like a chihuahua. Serious. If that guy had forearms the size of Justin Bieber like I did, he never would have had the athletic dexterity to open his damn laptop. All I’m saying is they shouldn’t vote if they don’t know. Hall of Fame should let Jose Canseco and Marion Jones vote. Or that guy with the bike…Neil Armstrong. Let a jury of our peers decide. That’s the American way.”

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